a u g u s t    2006


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“And you make a choice. You give up and take yourself out of the scene. Because you are tired of the betrayal. Because you are weak. Because you realize you were not really there in the first place anyway.

“And this is exactly what they want, right? Blind observers? Paralyzation? Purely non-participatory participation? Active participants are dangerous; conscious participant-observers are fatal system errors.

“Of course, these moments are not absolute—we give up, we fight again. We may give up again. So on. It’s a constant struggle. The concrete is always threatening to give way to quicksand, vice versa etcetera. Sometimes you sink and flail, sometimes you glide. This is only one moment of many with which I’ve betrayed myself. There will be more...

“But you know...I don’t know. Even those who keep fighting back—a lifetime of moments of despair?...must have a way of dulling you. I mean, you can commit suicide over and over only so many times.”

R.M./M.R.: “So how do you escape?”

M.R./R.M.: “I already told you. There is no escape. The concept is irrelevant. You do not escape you. You simply are you. There’s nothing more.”



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